random october, november, december

hahaha, halo halo. gilak! jamuran abis yah ni blog, mana nih yang punya? masih niat gak ngeblog :)) makanya blognya di sapu dong *loh*

well well guys. its been a long, random, unique, stressful, cheerful phase of my life. apa saja yang terjadi? buanyaaaaakkk. nih rentetan jadwal2 saya bulan lalu *cih*

OKTOBER
1. Oktober, ada ulang tahun perkawinan orang tua sayaaa :D hore. its been 21 years !
semoga panjang umur ya ma, pa :) semoga makin sukses dan makin lengket. plikitiw.
2. Dikejar deadline sidang proposal skripsi ( lebih tepatnya menyia2kan waktu )
heahahaha. OMG. gw juga heran, beneran deh, ini gen *procastinating* dapet
darimana yah? kronik abis. 2 minggu terakhir beneran ngerjain skripsi abis2an.
Ketemu pembimbing tiap hari, ngeprint tiap hari, menghabiskan 2,5 rim kertas a4
70 gram, dan sudah minta maap pada pohon-pohon karena telah menghabiskan begitu
banyak kertas ( heuheu)
3. Sidang. dan tragedi colokan babi yang nyaris merusak masa depan nusa bangsa, jiwa
raga anak muda pemuda pemudi Indonesia, gara2 lupa bawa batere leptop. hihihi.
Ditambah lagi slide skripsi yang diedit abis2an oleh saudari kiki sekunder di
detik2 terakhir ( sumpah horor abs ki ) dengan semena2 nya dia menghapus dab
memotong slide akuuu, tp akhirnya tindakannya memang benar :p Lalu dapet penguji
yg tidak diduga2, anda tahu siapa.. makin deg deg an. Untunglah akhirnya Beliau
baik walaupun agak ******* alias minta "sedikit" perbaikan :)) but, so far so
good ;)


NOVEMBER !!
1. kekronisan dunia perkorea-an makin menjadi2. Suju pudar, SHINee datang. SHINee
masih berkobar kobar, Mblaq merayu2. nyeeets. Gara2 mblaq mulai tergoda buat
download dari youtube dan sumpah daftar donlotan jadi panjang abisssssss. mamaaa,
help me !! dubuu help meee, dedek help meeee :p
2. My birthday :D well. pertama kalinya di kasih surprise di rumah. hahaha. they
plotted to attack me early in the morning and called my mom to not waking me up.
Unfortunately my mom has given me an earlier surprise..teehehehe. jadi pas mereka
dateng gw udah bangun, walopun masih tidur2an sih. nyahaha. thanks yaaaa. you
made my day :*
3. Ternyata si ayurari binti bambang itu punya rencana lagi yang bikin astaganaga
banget pegelnya. emang kita kambing apa diiket2 di phon terus disiram? mana
rumahnya di deket tepi jalan raya pusri lagiiii.. hahahahaaa !! tunggu
pembalasankuuuuu *berkobar*
4. nilai keluar.. agak sesuai harapan, bonus 0,02.. hahahahaaaaa.
5. Sakit Tipes alias tifoid alias thyphoid. Sumpah ga enak teman teman... mana lama,
pegel, meriang, lemes, cengeng, lidah pahit.. huhuhu. ampun.. alhasil ga ikutan
soca blok 21.. bagaimana basib saya, saya pun tak tahu =_= setelah 1 minggu demam
baru cek darah, salmonella nya 8. mantappp.
6. Nyoba Sushi. enak !! asal bukan yang original, gw masih bisa melahapnya, nyam !

DESEMBER
1. HEYYYYYYYYaaaaa !! ayo ayo semua cepetan selesein skripsinyaaa :D semua mau
liburan kan? ya dong :) saya sudah sampe hasil loh.. yahh walopun ga secepet
tetangga sebelah, lumayanlah :p
2. Sakit lagi. OKE. whats wrong with me? cuma tidur2an di rumah aja bisa sakit. oh
God. beneran parno deh, dengan sistem imunitas begini bloonnya -_-
3. Ngantuk ah :))

thats all folks. will be around soon !

once upon a time

there will be times when i dont want to come,
i dont want to see you.
i feel like puking when i see you.
im so lazy to talk to you.

there will be times when i dont want to move,
i dont want to think cuz i have too many things in my head.
i dont want to solve anything cuz you dont want and will not solve a thing.

there will be times
when i will hate you to the bones.
cuz i think
you..
will..
never..
do..
the right things.

will ya?

will the chance come?
would you make a change?

since fairy is not exist, i wont wait.
miracle wont come.

this is definitely insane.

Bipolar I Disorder--Diagnostic Features (DSM-IV, p. 350)

The essential feature of Bipolar I Disorder is a clinical course that is characterized by the occurrence of one or more Manic Episodes or Mixed Episodes. Often individuals have also had one or more Major Depressive Episodes. Episodes of Substance-Induced Mood Disorder (due to the direct effects of a medication, or other somatic treatments for depression, a drug of abuse, or toxin exposure) or of Mood Disorder Due to a General Medical Condition do not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder. In addition, the episodes are not better accounted for by Schizoaffective Disorder and are not superimposed on Schizophrenia, Schizophreniform Disorder, Delusional Disorder, or Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
Some symptoms typical of those who have bipolar disorder include:

- Feelings of extreme elevation and
deep depression at the same time [ yeah.. ]
- Large variations in work quality and output [ urmm.. ]
- Periods of great optimism followed or
preceded by periods of great pessimism [ ah.. that's.. yeah ]
- Overly happy (or sad) period [ oh my ]
- Racing thoughts - jump from one thought
to another very quickly [ not really ]
- Extreme irritability [ sometimes ]
- Lack of concentration [ no doubt ]
- Hopelessness [ hope = 1 out of ten ]
- Thoughts of death or suicide [ well.. ]

Those who experience these symptoms need to contact a physician for proper diagnosis of their condition.

i should be worried. ck

me neither

i'm tired of being clown. i'm tired for being prankster. i'm too tired to cheer other up. i'm tired for pretending, that im happy. i'm tired for being dependent. i'm tired for living life full of limitation and restriction. im too tired to say yes. im too tired to please you. i'm tired to keep my own temper. is it bad for being bad for a while? is it bad to please myself by neglecting you. i guess so. i dont care. you dont care, me neither.

Kahlil Gibran - On children

Anakmu bukan anakmu.

Anak adalah kehidupan,

mereka
sekedar lahir
melaluimu
tetapi bukan berasal darimu.

Walaupun bersamamu
tetapi bukan milikmu.

Curahkan kasih sayang
tetapi bukan memaksakan pikiranmu
,
karena mereka dikaruniai pikirannya sendiri.

Berikan rumah untuk raganya,
tetapi tidak jiwanya,
karena
jiwanya milik masa mendatang, yang tak bisa kau datangi
bahkan dalam mimpi sekalipun.

Bisa saja mereka mirip dirimu,
tetapi jangan pernah
menuntut mereka jadi seperti sepertimu.

Sebab kehidupan itu tidak berjalan mundur,
dan
tidak tenggelam di masa lampau.

Kaulah busur, dan anak-anakmulah anak panah yang melucur.
Sang Pemanah mahatahu sasaran bidikan keabadian.

Dia menentangmu dengan kekuasaanNya,
Hingga anak panah itu melesat, jauh serta cepat.

Meliuklah dengan suka cita dalam rentangan tangan Sang
Pemanah,

Sebab Dia mengasihi anak-anak panah yang melesat laksana kilat
,
Sebagaimana pula dikasihi-Nya busur yang mantap.

apa yang terjadi di bulan juli

JULI

foto pas MUNAS.. i've told you im not a SKSD person so.. i oly took what i want to :)


and then. blok 19 - blok *clinical* terakhir berakhir dengan.. hampa dan biasa biasa saja *loh*

minggu pertama liburan.. ngehedon .. ckckck..
anak2 udah pada ngacir ke jakarta lah, bali lah, pulang kampung lah..owwww..

minggu kedua liburan.. cuma duduk duduk di rumah..
proposal? nanti nanti yaaaaaaaaaaa.. hahahahaa

minggu ketiga liburan.. hmm. i will do something - serious - hectic holiday *gaya*
wish me luck XD


nb : kayanya mesti segera pasang speedy lagi nih. skripsi oh skripsi... im coming bibehhhhhhh.

All the right moves .. In wrong places.

All the right friends
in all the wrong places
So yeah, we're going down
They got all the right moves
in all the right faces
So yeah, we're going down

Just paint the picture, of a perfect place They got it better than what anyone's told you
They'll be the King of Hearts,
and you're the Queen of Spades
Then we'll fight for you like we were your soldiers
I know we've got it good
But they got it made,
And the grass is getting greener each day I know things are looking up
But soon they'll take us down,
before anybody's knowing our name.

They got all the right friends
in all the right places
So yeah, we're going down
We've got all the right moves and all the wrong faces
So yeah, we're going down
They said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down
They said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down

Do you think I'm special?
Do you think I'm nice?
Am I bright enough to shine in your spaces?
Between the noise you hear
And the sound you like
Are we just sinking in an ocean of faces?
It can be possible
that rain can fall,
Only when it's over our heads
The sun is shining everyday,
but it's far away
Over the world is death.
They got, They got,

All the right friends in all the wrong places
So yeah, we're going down
They got,
all the right moves and all the wrong faces
So yeah, we're going down
They said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down
They said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down

It don't matter what you see.
I know I could never be
Someone that'll look like you.
It don't matter what you say,
I know I could never face someone that could sound like you.

All the right friends in all the wrong places So yeah, we're going down
They got all the right moves and all the right faces
So yeah, we're going down
All the right friends in all the wrong places So yeah, we're going down
They got all the right moves and all the right faces
So yeah, we're going down
They said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down
They said, everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down.
Yeah, we're going down.
Yeah, we're going down.
(All the right moves, hey)
Yeah, we're going down
(All the right moves, hey)
Yeah, we're going down

vampire versus werewolf

aaaaaaaaahh. Lama ga nulis nih *alah lebay*

well well well. 1 minggu yang lalu gw dan anak2 AMSA Palembang baru aja jor-joran ngadain munas amsa dan semua tepar. Acaranya lumayan lancar walopun adalah kekurangan kecil disana sini dan kekesalan dimana mana but the most important thing is it ended well =) gw sebagai GM nya UGM merasa bahagia , semangat dan ikhlas menjadi GM mereka yang manis manis. Lumayan dapet kenalan dari berbagai univ. ( i will upload the pics soon ). Semua panitia udah kerja keras maksimal dan optimal ( ahem ). Dan gw dengan berbagai kekurangan gw sudah berusaha abis2an jg buat ga jaim *hiks.. Maap.. Emang dr oroknya ga bisa sksd*

abis acara munas, aktivitas gw sebagai mahasiswi agak2 kacau balau mengingat stamina yg turun drastis dan siklus sirkadian yang hancur lebur mengakibatkan gw selalu tidur pagi siang sore malam dengan indahnya. Tidurnya ga kira2 ga pernah mimpi. Bangun tp langsung tidur lagi. Ga pengen belajar, napsu makan masih tinggi. Masih ngehedon, dan masih pengen jalan2 terus. 1 minggu menjelang ujian blok dan anak muda ini malah antri dengan khidmatnya sampe nyium2 kaca pim21 buat nonton eclipse ( heahaha. Im the first tickets buyer for the eclipse premier @PIM loh ) hahaha. Asli geblek. Inget aja teman teman, prinsip membeli tiket nonton : anda menendang atau anda ditendang !!! :))

furthermore, despicable me 3D is available @pim ( he? ) im gonna watch it next week :D

murka

Ini bukan soal jumlah, atau tingkat kebaikan. Bukan soal anda pelit. Atau saya tamak. Anda tidak percaya saya. Saya ulangi, ANDA TIDAK PERCAYA KEPADA SAYA. Sakit memang. Kalau yang tidak percaya saya atau mengkhianati saya adalah dia, dia, atau dia, saya tidak akan merasa sesakit ini. Tapi karena ini anda. Anda. Anda lebih percaya orang lain daripada saya sendiri. Harusnya saya sayang pada anda. Tapi buat apa? Toh anda tidak sayang pada saya, atau kuantitas sayang anda bahkan lebih besar padanya daripada saya. Capek. Saya saja heran kenapa Beliau bisa tahan pada Anda. Lakukan sesuka anda. Saya punya cara, anda silahkan berlaku sesuka hati. Mulai hari ini saya berhenti. Kalau mau mau tambah lagi, tambah! Kami sudah tidak mau tahu lagi.

19/06/2010
19:57
Sepertinya sudah tidak ada lagi yang bisa merubah anda. Im starting to end this up.

i just.. want to quit.

hadeeeeh hadeeeuh. Kenapa anak muda jadi labil dan merana gini ya?

Well this case started since.. Uhm.. I guess 2 days ago. I was babbling, chattering too much, then a friend told me to stop saying bad things about someone, gossipping someone. Well i do know that my worst habit in this world is *bergunjing* ( besides procrastinating..ouch! ) but this habit only happen when i hate someone to the bones. Yes i know that my mouth had gone too far. TOO FAR. But i couldnt stop my tounge. I shouldve blamed her for acting too sweet. Wow. Hello darling, even angel doesnt do good things all the time. I dont envy any single thing from you, NONE, for sure. Im happy with myself, trying not to be greedy. You got what you want. I got what i need. If you want to be pretty and ugly at the same time , then you'll be pretty ugly , rite? LOL.

Fyuh. And i should fight for my rights!! Im not asking for more. I need the same like others.

Then, another things were popped out of my brain. Friends are getting more selfish. Competitions are getting tougher. Egos are getting bigger. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. Social pressure. What are you trying to do pals? And im here, still trying to hold on the streams. Enduring my own principal then strengthening it. Im not a slave of anyone, anything, trends, technology, whatever. Really really bipolar. I make myself to believe that the time will come. There will be an end. We dont have to follow all new things, all new changes ( yuk ). Filter! We have to be bonded with the good one. Choose! Take the responsibilities at your own risk. Act ! When people not noticing the clown anymore, i'll quit. Quitting, seems to be the easiest thing, when everything's gone mad.

nb : pengen les lagi tapi ga diijinin tuh . Huahahahahuhu. Kangen LIA !! :'p

June ! you gotta be great .

Woah woah woah . Look where and when i stand. Welcome to the 19th block ! Couple months ago i wished i could skip the previous block and now .. Yay, I passed it. I repeat : i could pass it. With all the laziness and luck and pray and and and and.. GOSH !!!

after the pediatric - geriatric block, i had a *movie marathon* with nurek, ayu, nefvi, dina, ririn . We watched PoP & the imaginarium of dr parnassus. Well both is good but i dont really like parnassus ( i found similarities between this and alice in wonderland and.. I just dont like it ) moreover i'm not interested with a sad ending fantasy film sooooooo.. I was just a lil bit disappointed. Anw, PoP is a breathtaking one ( i watched this twice, with nidya :p )

in the first day of 19th block, i had rhinopharyngitis . Gah ! I wonder why this damn diseases keep attacking me once in a month since i started my college life. Now im being paranoid of the *rheumatic heart disease* .

On the other hand, my friends , nadhs from maldives just sent me a message that told me that she's going to visit palembang soon =D yaaay. *nervous* this is gonna be awesome. I hope the plan will run well.

Okay, thats all that i can share with you . see ya soon bloggers! Have a great day ;)

sorry i cant come, auntie.

gara gara ujan. jadi inget lagi *huh*
kisah kisah sampah yang harusnya sih sudah berakhir. Diawali oleh masalah sampah dan berakhir juga seperti sampah.

Im really sorry i cant come auntie. I dont want to see your daughter too often. I dont even want to see her once a day, if i could. She keeps hurting me. Innocence sometimes hurts us also, rite?

oh may ! here we go =D

FK UNSRI baru aja ngadain PENSI yang udah dijadwalin setiap tahun, dan WOW !! tiap tahun makin seru dan hebohhhh. tiap angkatan berlomba lomba mempertontontan dan mempersembahkan kreasi terbaik mereka mulai dari Stan, tema angkatan, persembahan, yel yel dan band. Dan di PENSI ini juga ada pengumuman pemenang2 dr lomba lomba pekan olahraga FK =] we won many things guys. check out these photos :D







thats all for the first week in this Cheerful May . Have a super good day !

a disease of the mind

We're in the city of wonder, ain't gonna play nice.
Watch out, you might just go under. Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered.
So if you must faulter be wise.
Your mind is in disturbia.

Rihanna - Disturbia

please make it fair & equal, God :)

Gain much, lose more. Gain one, lose one. I think im good enough, in fact i cant even finish half of this rocky way. But i have to, so i will lose so many things. Well you dont smooth my way. At least dont make it tougher, harder. Please. Im begging.

yes. 10 versus one. All ten wants to be heard by one. But all the ten dont want to hear one. Pufttt. How come? So funny. LoL.

This is our successful-gonna-be project. Not mine. Im starving here. Bye bye. Hope the loss is equal with the final result =) victory !

bday girl :)

hohohohohoho, lagi mood ngupload poto 2 orang teman teman saya yang jelek :)) yang baru saja berulang tahun ke 20 !!! welcome to the second decade of your life ( nyahahahaa ) dan juga suka duka blok 17 yang baru saja berakhir .

praktikum di RSMH :) we'll miss you, obgyn departement !


nonton voli !


nurek. ( belom ditraktir nih ) hahahahaa


here you go, reren :)

his friends - the letter

A secret is revealed. The memories is recalled. I've reached another milestones. Without you. Its been 2 years. I got nothing, but memories. Its okay. Remembering your deep voice ( you speak English very very well *stunning*) , your papers hit my head, your charming smile, and our last 3 short conversations. My last 3 messages. Made many reasons to meet you. You are too good yet forbidden. Yes you are. And i was trapped in a delusional maze. Drunk.

So this is your fave song : iris - goo goo dolls. It will always be my fave also, together with enrique iglesias - somebody's me. You dont have to come back here. I wish u wont come back. Its amazing to know you, recalling your smile. But i cant stand your return. Have a good day mister :)

terkurung dalam sangkar emas, tenggelam dalam kolam susu, hanyut

silat lidah. salah lagi. salah lagi. ada aja salahnya. yang benar selalu dia. yang salah selalu saya. memang saya tidak punya hak apa apa, walaupun saya sudah melakukan kewajiban kewajiban saya, termasuk beberapa kewajiban seorang babu, pembantu, tukang cuci. dia harus didengar, ditaati. saya ingin paling tidak saya didengar. Yang salah selalu saya, beserta arus arus di sekitar saya.

Rasanya pengen hanyut di tengah arus ini. Syukur syukur bisa hanyut, nyangkut, dibawa terbang bangau, nyangkut di pancing orang. Hanyut saja rasanya pun masih perlu usaha.

Sebenarnya yg paling bagus melawan arus. Tapi bagaimana? Dengan cara sok bergaya gembel? Belajar tanpa henti? Atau nyembah nyembah matahari biar pinter? Atau ngepet? Hahaha. Mimpi.

Bertahan? Tidak ada lagi pegangan. Sudah bertahan segan hanyut tak mau. Saya sudah nyemplung.

Emang susah kalo gaya hidupnya begitu. Sigh. Itu toh yang namanya prinsip. Kalo jelek bikin gondok setengah mati. Prinsip yang parahnya kepentok zaman. Sudah mesti diperbaharui. Dengan prosesor lama, saya kuatir hal itu adalah amat sangat mustahil sekali. Sangat mustahil. Sangat.

we did it :)

Woahhhh. Finally we passed the 17th block ! I dont know whether the score will be good or just so-so :p but im glad glad glad - SUPER HAPPY its finished! But as usual, the effect of soca = post soca syndrome attacked me .

I solely admit that i wasnt ready for soca - not well prepared. Dehydration due to late osce ended with migrain forced me to do nothing but sleep in the night before soca. Crying was the best thing i could do on that day after having soca.

The prognosis for mcq... I think its bonam buuuuuuttttttt definitely we cant lie on mcq result itself -.-

but hey! Who wants to be crazy and jailed at house and keep moaning & crying for those soca things? Have fun guys! we had a crazy but super fun karaoke time on thursday !! Hahahaha. Started with lady gaga and ended up with the stupid black out, and then we went to check ratrot's eye ( rabunnn ni yeyyy :p )
what a happy thursday ! Thank youuuuuu !



NB : be ready for 18th block ;) pediatry - geriatry. Though one .. lol. Especially for me. Good luck everybody.

heart beat

the smell of chlorine, the elegance of white uniform, the stetoscope is hangin on my neck, the sound of heart beat, drop of blood, please smooth my way, ya Allah. i wont need another masks. all i need is YOU and books.

mandek semandek mandeknya mandek

awal bulan yang sangat buruk. Diawali dengan pertikaian orang orang yang sok , lalu diteruskan dengan tingkah laku orang orang goblok dan kekanak-kanakan, diteruskan dengan gombalan sampah orang yang mabuk cinta, dirusak oleh kelebosan orang yang minta perhatian dan diakhiri dengan kebohongan yang sangat kurang ajar. Semua terjadi hanya dalam 6 hari di awal bulan april. Bulan April memang masih panjang, masih ada hari hari lain di bulan april. Tapi awal bulan yang sumpek ini bikin ilfil. Sekarang tinggal berdoa dan berusaha mati matian buat pertengahan april yang diceriakan oleh ujian. Ya Tuhan, apa salah kalo aku minta masalahnya datang satu satu, jangan keoroyokan gini :(

i dont want the best.

Bagaimana jika, salah satu dari kenalan anda, mengatai anda f*ck di belakang anda ? Mungkin anda akan berkata. Apa peduliku? I dont need them. Dan mungkin masih bisa pasang muka 12 di depan dia. Lain hal nya jika teman dekat anda, mengatai anda munafik, atau sampah masyarakat, atau munak. Wow. I can forgive them ONCE, for the price of friendship. For the precious value of family's name. I can heal the wound. I can fix the broken glass. I can say sorry eventhough the mistakes was not made by me. Once. Then i keep being patient. But you did the mistakes, again. I didnt hear any words like sorry. Not even hi. Was that my turn, again? Do i have to do that, again? Why cant you say sorry for all the things that we've been through. Finally. Jadi selama ini nilainya cuma ini. No more than this. I took care of you. Was i your servant? Setelah bertanya tanya pada orang, yes. You acted like youre the boss. I was the servant. Thanks for opening my eyes pals. I did this again. Shit.
Now after a looooooong time ( too long ) you only say 'duluan ya' and 'hi' . Wew. Nice greetings. Even a dog can bark in front of me and i can consider it as greetings too.

And for you. I dont want to get involved . I only gave some opinions. You might find it as a rude, frontal one. Your problem is as complicated as mine. The same childish action. You just dont wanna listen. No trust. Please remember how many times we've said sorry first to you? No, im not saying : ih, ga ikhlas ya minta maap kmaren. So childish thinking. But hey. What have you done for this? We were friends and.. You still didnt know the real us. We wont steal anybody. We wont kill anybody. We will understand you IF YOU TELL US What you want, what you are afraid of, what the problem are.

For others. I believe you are mature and wise enough to sumarize, conclude an opinion, and understand the real problems not only from one point of view, one side. Dont directly say : minta maaflah, kasian, cuz i already did it for countless time. And you should know which one is the victim. Have a great day buddies. Beware, your best can be the worst :)

bipolar - up and down

March 31st

oh gosh. I felt terrible. That was the peak, worst level of my bipolar-like-syndrome. I couldn't find the best way to solve. All i knew that i was wishing that the day ended sooner and i would have forgot the problem in the next day. I couldnt sleep well although i'll have a short-relieveing vacation on friday. I woke up every 1 hour. Crap. I felt so useless. No hope. We should declare the unwanted choice. In other hand, i have to stop this unbelievable - stupid - itching feeling. This is not the right timeeeeee. Wrong wrong wrong. And my kepo level still remains high -.- please someone control me. Pleaseee.

April 1st
i woke up , as a depressed collegian. No passion to study. No willingness to try. I didint even watch the morning infotainment . LOL. Then I watched 3 idiots for the second time. Thanks ratrot. Hahaha. That wass the beginning of my mood elevation. Great. Then my mom fulfiled her promise to buy *something*. Anddd we bought soooo many snacks for friday :) i smell something good.

April 2nd
12:35 wib. Im here. Just heard another wonderful news from ririn. Oh God, No one can ruin my mood today, and i hope this will last at least for the next 1 week :p Alhamdulillah :) now i cant sleep! This is a huge euforia :p


have a great holiday!

stop pelisss

I made this post when i was remembering a story of my mom, couple weeks after she got her doctor title. My mom was able to stop my grandpa from his bad habit ( smoking ) although it was quite late, because my grandma passed away due to lung cancer, for being a passive smoker for almost 20 years.

Dokter, tapi ngerokok. Wakil rakyat, tapi korupsi. Guru, tapi ga bisa ngasih contoh yg naik ke muridnya. Mestinya menjadi panutan tapi perilakunya malah ga bisa dijadikan panutan. What's the different? That's what people do. They say it's really human things. They're just ordinary people. Oh, please. You choose your own way. Mau jadi dokter, jangan bertingkah kaya tukang sayur. Mau jadi insinyur, jangan bersikap seperti tukang becak. We can do mistakes. Yes, we can. But what is a mistake? A mistake is a failure that you did unpurposely. And smart people won't do it twice, with a purpose and full of consciousness. If so, it's a fake mistake , lie. So please stop pretending that those things are acceptable . Kesalahan yang sering dilakukan tetapkah kesalahan, walaupun nanti nilai'' kesalahan itu sendiri bergeser dan dianggap normal. Stop ngeles, karena itu salah. Kalo kita sudah biasa melakukan kesalahan, ketika kita melakukan kebenaran rasanya aneh. Tapi itu benar! Yang perlu kalian itu hanya membiasakan diri. Kemayoritasan juga sering membuat kita merasa benar, padahal yang banyak dilakukan itu juga belum tentu benar toh. Oke oke?

no offense. Im not saying that *perokok harusnya gak bisa jadi dokter* tapi dokter harusnya ga merokok. Harusnya. *lagi kumat nih idealisnya*

nb : nis, stop ngeles! Stop procrastinating.
See you soon ;)

naik naik ke puncak gunung

Aku sudah mencapai ketinggian.
Bagus, aku masih menapak pada tanah dan batu berbongkah bongkah.
Tak melayang di atas awan terbuai mimpi.
Kenyataan memang seperti ini.
Kanan kiri memang tak indah teman.
Ketika kulihat ke bawah, kupandang keindahan yang telah kulalui sejauh ini.
Sungguh indah.
Tapi aku ingin mencapai puncak.
Aku sudah berjuang lebih keras dari mereka.
Aku sudah mendapati lebih banyak hal.
Disini juga aku mendapat teman, kawan.
Baik yang telah melewati ku pergi ke atas.
Ataupun berselisih jalan ke bawah.
Aku merasa bahagia teman.
Walaupun beberapa memilih mundur.
Rasa lelah menghampiri.
Tapi aku tidak akan mundur , tidak.
Aku memang sedang tak mampu melanjutkan.
Keinginan tak sebanding dengan kemampuanku di saat ini.
Jadi aku akan berhenti sebentar,
menapak,
disini.




Nb : sabar nis , sabar. Satu satu ya :) inget kata orang, God gives you what you need, not what you want. God knows you well & you dont. When you sacrifice for one thing, He gives another things. God may refuse your wish, but He doesnt neglect you. He gives all that you need but you dont do what He wants. You neglect His commands. So why cant He refuse your wishes?

so pure yet so stink.

Anda menambahkan gula dalam susu basi.
Lagi.
Lagi.
Lagi.
Tambah lagi.
Entah lidah anda yang tidak peka.
Atau anda takut merasakannya.

Anda bereksperimen.
Anda tambah garam.
Kopi.
Madu.

Tetap saja , basi.

Tolong dimengerti, basi.

Kebasian itu telah terlalu pekat.
Bahkan orang orang di sekitar tahu bahwa itu basi.
Mungkin mereka hanya tidak mau memberi tahu tentang kebasian itu.
Atau mereka juga tidak dapat merasakan yang basi?
Mungkin suatu saat, jika anda akhirnya mengerti..
Suatu saat dimana susu itu telah sangat super basi.

Ganti gelasnya.
Cari susu lain.
Tambah gula.

Tapi mungkin saat itu anda sudah tidak perlu susu lagi.

meiko - piano song :)

Every little i do, i do for you.
With every little thing i think, i thought of you.

Reff :
and i try so hard not to notice,
i try so hard not to care,
i try so hard not to know that you're not here.
But i'm counting down the hours,
and i'm counting up the days,
i try so hard not to show this side of me.

I'm jealous of the way they walk, the way they talk
Cause i didn't think they knew just what they got
I'm jealous of the way they look, the way they are
When i just wanna be the way we were.

Reff :
and i try so hard not to notice,
i try so hard not to care,
i try so hard not to know that you're not here.
But i'm counting down the hours,
and i'm counting up the days,
i try so hard not to show this side of me.

This side of me...
This side of me..
This side of me..

Ps : cute song, thanks for relieving me. I learn a lesson : beware!! the power of teasing is exist !! :))

kangen komik :))

ah, tiba tiba hari ini keinget komik lama. kangennnnn! sayangnya kemaren lagi jaman bloon banget, blom ngerti yang namanya KOLEKSI hiks hiks. alhasil yang bertahan tinggal sailor moon nomer 17 doang. huhuhu. ini komik yg gw pengeeeeeeen banget cari dan baca lagi.

1. Sailor moon :) ada yg item putih ada yg warna ya, gw suka yg hitem putih.

Sebenernya gw suka karangan naoko takeuchi mulai dr sailor v, maria, dan satu lagiii *lupa* hehehehe. Cowoknya cakep cakep :p

2. Candy candy. Waaaa. I love it! Semua pasti tau candy candy!

3. Little new york . Ini komik pertama yg gw baca setelah gw bisa baca. Bayangin anak sekecil upil baca nih komik. Rada2 ga ngerti. Tp masih inget! *agak aneh* pokoknya ceritanya ttg cewek jepang nikah sama bule deh. Hihi.

4. Topeng kaca bidadari merah : rada nyesel baca nih komik. Karena ga selesaiii. Hukss. Akhirnya gmn sihh?

5. Panic ! : ga selesai juga.. Duh gmn deh :p

Lucu ya, tentang cewek yang kalo lagi kaget berubah jadi rubah. Selaen itu jg gw suka komik komik nya yu asagiri yg laen misalnya ... Hm.. Lupa lagi judulnya..tp ceritanya tentang cowok yg berubah jd serigala kalo lagi bulan purnama. Yay!

6. Ini yang gw penasaran banget. Gw inget ceritanya, tp ga inget judulnya. Ge googling ga dapet2. Hopeless banget :)) ceritanya ttg cewek yatim piatu yang lugu banget, sampe dia ga tau ttg cara pake uang dan beli baju bagus. Tiba2 ada paman kaki panjang yg nyekolahin dia ke asrama bagus tempat org2 kaya, dengan syarat dia cuma bisa kirim surat ke paman kaki panjang itu, tanpa tahu orangnya yang mana dan siapa. Huaaa. Akhirnya dia ketemu kok sama paman itu :) kalo ada yg tau judulnya, tolong kasih tauu ya XD

7. Tales from the darkside bisa dibilang ini satu2nya komik *serem* ya pernah gw baca. Bagus. Dan lagiiiii, gak selesai!!

8. Princess : ini adalah manhwa yang super panjangggggg banget. Ga sempet selesai. Huhu. Sibuk bgt sih buat baca.

Hihihi. Posting kali ini ga jelas lg deh :p cuma kangen kangen bgt sama komik. Buat yang koleksi komik, jaga baek2 ya! Biar ga nyesel gini nantinya :) okey deh. See ya soon !

gundukan sampah

twitter dan fb tidak akan membunuh anda. kalo mau mati langsung ke musi atau ke tukang jagal sapi, mudah, murah. Mahalan dikit pake baygon. Mau yang sangat mahal? Teruslah hidup, karena hidup dan sehat itu lebih mahal harganya. Sakit aja gak ada yang mau. Apalagi mati? Semua mau hidup. Sehat. Senang senang. Siapa yang mau sedih? Mati bukan akhir dari semua kesedihan. Apalagi bunuh diri, itu cuma awal kesengsaraan yang baru.

if only the soul that you dont even need nor care can be transfered to others who need it badly :( so it doesnt have to be a useless soul..

truly yours

We're living in a world with endless 'pretty' tricky lies and some painful truths. You can choose one. You can do both. You can fool us, but the beauty of lies won't last forever, and the truth won't wait forever. You may fool us, but you'll somehow regret that. For those who've been fooled, please learn something ( and you too, anies! ) . Say the truth, some can't stand the pain, some won't forgive forever, but some with pure mind will pick the flower of the patience that they've planted over the forgiveness land. Do both, well, i'm trying my best to do this. To make it equal, balance. Lie and truth. Feels good sometimes. Hahaha.

And now i need to tell you the truth. I'm not a hypocrite. No, im not lying! I'm not a liar :)) well yeah i do lie sometimes. Hey? Did you say i'm lying to you? No, im not. You're the liar!! Ouuuchh so??? Now this is confusing :B Just act well. Play safe. Dont lie too often :p

nb : Some can't stand the pain of truth. Most are addicted to the pain of lie.
Some are craving for the truth, Some choose to be fooled by lie.
You? Im feeding you with delicious lies.
Me? Im sick of lying. I also need some lies. Endless one please. So i dont need to know to truth.

willingness

Reality is not for me.
People say i should come down.
That the clouds are not a place for grown ups to be.
I smile at them.
Maybe one day, i say maybe one day, i say maybe one day i will come down.
But i never will.
Reality is not for me. I shall stay up here.
The view is quite breathtaking.

gue selalu berusaha ngejar dunia lo. Tapi lo bukan cuma lari, lo tuh terbang. Dan lo suka lupa, gue masih di bumi. Kaki gue masih di tanah. Gimana kita bisa terus jalan kalo tempat kita berpijak aja beda.
- perahu kertas

It's been too long, dear. Too long. You didnt ask me to wait, or even to care. If you want to stay, you have to face the reality, me. If you want me to stay, ask me to stay.

We dream a lot, but dream is only a dream. We need to chase it, reach it. Or if its only a fantasy, leave it.

This is reality, and probably yeah, it doesnt always suit you.
The pain is real. Or otherwise, no pain? no pain but you're afraid of the pain? such somatoform disorder, hun?

Dont be hypocrite, your mask is getting worse, you act like a cheap one, you smile like a puppet doll. in short : your almost - i can say - dumb.

Im counting. Im out of patience, but i still have a super super tiny willingness to wait. although you keep on breaking my strength.

bangka :) hope to see you again.

Lagi ga mood nulis *hihihihi*
ini ada beberapa poto2 pas gw ke bangka kemaren.

enjoy ! :)

2010. Yeeey

yay ! udah pulang nih *hahaha*
apakah anda sudah menemukan pulau yg dimaksud di blog sebelumya?? haha.
hem hem.

anyway, sebenernya liburan ini tujuan masih sama kaya biasanya. tujuan berlibur masih sama, merujuk ke obsesi mama dan tante, bukan cuma rekreasi, tapi lebih ke visiting a new place - exploring :) and i can say this is the real traveling, bukan kesitu lagi, kesitu lagi, tp emang bener2 mengunjungi tempat baru. hohoho !

betewe, bangka bagusssssssssssssss banget! pantainya loo ! pasirnya putih, kecil2. padet, alus, dan ga gatel. yg plng penting disana lumayan bersih ! siyalnya pas kesana kmren segala macem fasilitas permainan air, dgn kata lain banana boat juga rusaaak!! dannnng !!! tp mau ga mau terhibur jg dengan hasil poto2 yg super narsis sekali disana hwhwhwhw ! well. akhirnya bisa ngedit lg !!! XD ga sabar lg ! Hihuy*



nb :
apasih updetan kali ini ga jelas bangettt hahaha ! siiiyaaaa guys !