Clearing things in July.

i need to erase things
things people summed up without considering the truth
things that will lead this nowhere
all misunderstood things
things that hurt people
things that i dont want to remember
the one that embarrassed me
the one that suffer me
things that hurt me.

might be truth a while ago, you know

thanks to you, coward
and pity for me, who is worse than a coward

thanks for nothing :)








ps : my life is not a story of romance novel.
sigh

are you sure?

Love does not consist in gazing each other,
but in looking together at the same direction.

random things

its been a while since a had my last holiday.

"makin tinggi pohonnya, makin kencang anginnya"

udah berapa lama ya semenjak masuk koas, rasa-rasanya udah ga tahan lagi. haha. makin di ujung, makin berat rasanya, walaupun stasenya mau ga ada jaga malemmya kek, gak ada tugas sama sekali kek, masuknya siang, tetep aja lama-lama makin berat buat dijalani. Belum lagi kalo inget nanti, setelah jadi dokter, ini otak rasanya tetep aja KOSONG. Belum ada isinya, isinya mantul-mantul keluar, diraba-raba. Apa bisa me'rangkul' gelar dokter ? beban. beban. pake internship pula. Mau kerja pula, Liburan juga tetep pengen, UKDI pula. Ga mau belajar, tapi pengen pinter. emang ya, manusia itu emang rakus Tuhan. Itu baru kepengenannya di bidang pendidikan aja, belum lagi yang lain-lain *ngarep*.

super random banget posting gw ya Alloh -__-

it leads nowhere

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust
I know this is love
But, if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
'cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I end up with you

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

i dont want the best.

Bagaimana jika, salah satu dari kenalan anda, mengatai anda f*ck di belakang anda ? Mungkin anda akan berkata. Apa peduliku? I dont need them. Dan mungkin masih bisa pasang muka 12 di depan dia. Lain hal nya jika teman dekat anda, mengatai anda munafik, atau sampah masyarakat, atau munak. Wow. I can forgive them ONCE, for the price of friendship. For the precious value of family's name. I can heal the wound. I can fix the broken glass. I can say sorry eventhough the mistakes was not made by me. Once. Then i keep being patient. But you did the mistakes, again. I didnt hear any words like sorry. Not even hi. Was that my turn, again? Do i have to do that, again? Why cant you say sorry for all the things that we've been through. Finally. Jadi selama ini nilainya cuma ini. No more than this. I took care of you. Was i your servant? Setelah bertanya tanya pada orang, yes. You acted like youre the boss. I was the servant. Thanks for opening my eyes pals. I did this again. Shit.
Now after a looooooong time ( too long ) you only say 'duluan ya' and 'hi' . Wew. Nice greetings. Even a dog can bark in front of me and i can consider it as greetings too.

And for you. I dont want to get involved . I only gave some opinions. You might find it as a rude, frontal one. Your problem is as complicated as mine. The same childish action. You just dont wanna listen. No trust. Please remember how many times we've said sorry first to you? No, im not saying : ih, ga ikhlas ya minta maap kmaren. So childish thinking. But hey. What have you done for this? We were friends and.. You still didnt know the real us. We wont steal anybody. We wont kill anybody. We will understand you IF YOU TELL US What you want, what you are afraid of, what the problem are.

For others. I believe you are mature and wise enough to sumarize, conclude an opinion, and understand the real problems not only from one point of view, one side. Dont directly say : minta maaflah, kasian, cuz i already did it for countless time. And you should know which one is the victim. Have a great day buddies. Beware, your best can be the worst :)